Yes, it has been too long since I last shared what was on my mind and heart. Alas, that time has come to an end. Whether or not I keep up with this blog, it was time to update for my own good.

Last week we moved from Maple Plain, MN, our home away from home. I am still processing the goodbyes, and like many, hope for future visits and, therefore, no formal goodbye. I imagine the weather turning cooler and the leaves changing colors. The many faces and memories that come to mind are too numerous to count.

I now stand in my kitchen typing my thoughts as my sweet 20 month old plays quietly with his "choo-choos" awaiting his brother to awake from his afternoon rest. Dinner is going and a sense of contentment fills over me. I look around our new home and see all of the beauty that fills this place. I am not referencing our things or the building itself. No, something much more beautiful. Instead I am soaking in the generosity of my family and their selflessness to give up a weekend, costs involved in traveling, and their physical, emotional, and mental selves as they helped us get settled in. 

It will take some time to adjust, but I am thankful for a new day and a new season. Too many people find themselves not wanting another day, or stuck in the same season of life for longer than planned. It has been over 2 months since I last took a pill to determine my mood. I was amazed at how easily time passes, and how easy it is to do something out of routine instead of out of necessity. Regardless, it was time to make a decision to go on with life and see how my body can adjust now that I am well past the initial afterbirth hormones and blues I found myself in. It has not been an simple task. In fact, my husband and mom can attest to the many mood swings I underwent while my body found it's "norm" the days following my completion of my anti-depressants. One day at a time is how I am living life, and I am feeling great 2 plus months later!

I will have plenty more to share in the days ahead. My husband has taken on a roll as a senior pastor in North Salinas. So, in turn that makes me a senior pastor's wife. What!? I am only 28 and have a lot of growing up to do still. God is not through with me yet. I am anxious to see how He continues to mold me and use me in this world. 

Stationery card

Jolly Holly Stripes Christmas Card

Make a statement with personalized Christmas cards at Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

Stationery card

Scrappy Frames Christmas Card

Create Christmas cards for the 2011 holiday season.

View the entire collection of cards.

In God We Trust

As I was rummaging through my wallet to collect change for a $.99 cappuccino from Holiday Gas Station, I came across an unusually shiny dime. Of course it was shiny, it was new! The date read, "2012." Not only did I notice the date, but I noticed something else that I learned about as a young girl. You might just remember learning about this quote on United States currency. It states, "In God We Trust." 

Many thoughts immediately flooded my mind about the upcoming election. We are certainly not a country who is trusting in God! We are far from God in what is deemed as good and right according to God's Word, something we used to seek after. 

My friends in California may or may not be aware, but we are voting on an Amendment to keep marriage between a man and a woman here in Minnesota. Other states that have legalized same-sex marriages have not done so through a vote from the state's citizens. Instead, they have been overturned or ruled by various judges in a court of law. Either way, Minnesota, Maine, Maryland, and Washington will be voting on marriage tomorrow. 

It is scary to think that children are already being taught same-sex marriage in schools of states who have legalized same-sex marriage, regardless of religious, personal, or moral beliefs. I can recall going to school and having others opt out of school field trips, projects, and the like, for their religious beliefs. In Massachusetts, a judge ruled that parents of a second grader do not have the right to be notified before any such topics being brought up in their 7 or 8 year old's classroom curriculum. In fact, they were having school wide rallies promoting gay rights. They were told at a judicial level that they had no right to pull their child from school during such activities or to be notified.

People talk about freedoms being taken away by not letting people choose who to marry. I can see that this does limit the freedom of many. However, so many "free Americans" are having freedoms taken away as well! Of course there is the Massachusetts family mentioned above. What about small businesses who are fined or even forced to go against their belief system and give service to any and all who inquire, as in the photographer who turned down a job for a same-sex couple? Or, a popular dating website creator who desired to bring a man and woman together in our new virtual world through online profiling, but was later sued and legally forced to start a dating website for same-sex couples and then another one for bi-sexuals.  Fair? Free? Not so much. The list goes on.

I am not writing this to tell you how to vote. I am merely explaining that it scares me to raise my children in a world that does not allow me to have a voice in what I wish to teach them and what I wish for them to learn and when. "In God We Trust," is the statement I will hold on to for this election. There is no doubt in my mind that God does not have the power to change every ballot cast tomorrow to be just how He wants it. So, I will trust the outcome. Not because it will reflect God's Word, but because even if it does go against His Word and what many Christ Followers wish, He is good and He has the whole world in His hands. I will trust in Him for my future, not some Amendment or politician. 

Psalm 32:10 says, "Many are the sorrows of the wicked,

    but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord."

Lessons in Reality

Fact. I was NEVER going to have those kids. You know, the ones who talk back to their mom or throw a tantrum in public, or refuse to listen when given instructions. For sure my kids were going to behave ALL OF THE TIME because they were going to have a consistent and regimented mom. They weren't going to have a mom who didn't care and let them walk all over.

Fact. I was NEVER going to be that mom. You know, the mom who buys a small toy to get their child out of the toy store without a fight, or the one who bribes with treats to spur on eating. Oh, and I was NEVER going to have to count to 3 because they were going to listen the FIRST time.

Reality. I have done all that is listed above (and more!). Children are not going to do EVERYTHING you ask of them. Children are not robots. They are little sinners! Okay, that is harsh. But, in reality they are individuals, and individuals have their own brains, bodies, and feelings.

I am still navigating this whole mom thing (that's for sure), but I have come to realize that all good moms must have a tool box to pull from. This box should include people, as well as tricks. Don't try to navigate this parenting thing alone or with worn out, ineffective tools. Ask people for advice. Try new things. Being a mom is a minute by minute journey. Do what you need to do to have a happy, healthy home. If that means you turn on a movie to have 20 minutes of down time for you and the kids, then, by all means, do it! Use that time to pray and recharge. You are not a bad mom if you do this, regardless of what experts say. You are merely using your tools.

Happy building!

Clean

Both of my children are afraid of the vacuum. That is why I have to put off some of my cleaning for when I can be alone. Moms, isn't it wonderful to clean without being interrupted? I get so much done in so little time. Cleaning is definitely one of my favorite things to do for alone time.

So, now as I write, I have a sense of accomplishment, fulfillment, and peace. I sit with a sense of relief. I have a clean home. I can finally rest and enjoy my night. This idea of feeling calm and peaceful got me thinking. I always think metaphorically. It is one of the things I like most about myself. :)

When we are clean and pure, we can be calm, still, quiet, and fulfilled. When we try to go on with life pushing things to the side and deciding we'll deal with our "dirt" later, the weight of that "dirt" lies heavily on our minds and lives whether we like it or not.

So, what do you need to clean today? What haven't you brought to our gracious God and asked forgiveness for? I love when God teaches you something in the still and quiet of your content heart. He has whispered to me the very thing I challenge you all with. He didn't have to shout or wait for me to feel frustrated or desperate. He used a wonderful, quiet night of cleaning. God is good. Would you agree?

I'd like to make a shout out to my wonderful husband who cooked and cleaned up dinner, took the boys outside to play, and then gave them a bath. We both deserve to enjoy the rest of the night and celebrate our accomplishments.

Thankful

Things have been a bit bumpy for me lately. I have been letting my emotions get the best of me. Boy do I need to grow in patience!!

Today is a brand new, beautiful day. I am not expecting a perfect day, for I know those don't exist. However, I am hoping to keep my cool and enjoy the peace and promises God has for me, instead of listening to the lies of the enemy that have crippled my mind lately.

As I was listening to my little boy play in the bathtub this morning, I felt nothing more than joy and thankfulness. God has entrusted me to be his mom. I am privileged to be called "mommy."

A dear friend of mine has been longing to get pregnant for some time now, so that she too could be called "mommy." I made the mistake of taking that position for granted in the past. There were even low moments when I wished to switch lives with this friend for the freedom to travel and for a career in teaching. How silly. That day will come. And I will enjoy it all the more when it gets here. For now, I will continue to work on growing as a woman after God's own heart. He has so much more to do in me. I am thankful God is using this stage as a young mother to show me my flaws and to continue to weave in me the strong character He longs for me to establish.

Oh, it's a journey alright. I am thankful for every moment. Well, almost... ;)